down the rabbit hole

dealing with an official at the masters office is much the same as trying to get the attention of an inattentive waiter. you can be polite and patient, attempting to draw the unwilling civil servant to attend to your query but all efforst seem as futile as dangling a carrot in the face of an already well fed lion.

with skill normally reserved for only the most experienced waterfront waiter the clerk is able to delay, dismiss and dodge any distraction whether its a constantly ringing phone, a mile long queue of curious citizens or an ever persistent article clerk.

on attending at these offices in an attempt to locate letters of executorship that should have been issued in december of the year before, searching every pigeon hole known to the building, following the official through several offices, he located our clients file on his desk under last weeks lunch and naturally had not had the time to apply his mind to the task at hand.

a bit late

the final courses provided for by the law society have come to an end. it was a joy to finally have half descent lecturers and to feel like i was learning again as opposed to all the mundane working that i have been doing.

during the last week we got our board exam results...
i can proudly say that i past the first of the board exams and am very happy! i was not entirely ecstatic with my mark but then again i was expecting to lose at lease 30% due to my lack of criminal practice knowledge which is now confirmed i do not have... aside from that i still came in the top 15% in this province and beat a whole heap of others with private tutors from bigger firms.

none the less even though my boss was certain that i wasn't ready to write this paper - and sure enough with respect to criminal law i was not, he takes full credit for my passing. apparently it wasn't the weekends of self tutoring or the evenings of reading it was all him. i never got study leave until the day before the exam and was examined by him only the day before i was set to take my days leave to cram four files into my noggin... his words were you'll never get through this, you are taking on too much blah blah blah confidence boost two days prior to writing your career paper blah blah... he now maintains that thanks to his superb instruction and general guidance i am amongst the top to pass...

still waiting to see when he plans on showing me how to handle the next 3 shortly to come...

financial enquiry anyone?

heres to hoping that i dont fall flat on my face, trip, stutter or call the magistrate anything other than your worship as i attempt to remember the entire contents or S65 A-J, the commentary thereon as well as rule45...

hopefully the debtor wont pitch and i can merrily submit my application for a postponement, have my warrant to arrest the sucker issued, then stayed and look forward to another day in court where i dont crap myself...

theoretically practical

today begins a new step in the life of the clerk - practical legal training courses.

as opposed to their title these are lectures about the theory of practice rather than actually practicing so the name is deceptive. i endured a bout with a feminist who is not down with the species of the opposite sex - this is counterproductive no?

she propounds ideas of equality and then follows it with a little men bashing - apparently acceptable to be sexist from a female to male perspective but objectify woman and she'll varnish her kitchen floor with your balls...

i read a sweet little article, well more of a how to be the perfect 1955 wife, step by step guide in housewives weekly, and thought, hell that aint half bad... if i worked all day, damn right i expect my dinner lovingly prepared by the home sitter to be warm and on the table as i would be famished on my return from the making of our livelihood. the home maker better not trouble me with the frivolities of the broken washer dryer when i enter and should rather usher me with kind words and warm or cold drinks. the children (not gonna happen they are too bugging) would be playing out of earshot and if within my ears range, quietly.... and if it was cold there should be a roasty fire warming my toes - splendid where'd i sign up this sounds great - ooops sorry was i missing the point? this is somehow bad and the poor woman. what else should she be doing with her day if she isn't out working?

hard core feminism bores me. the willy nilly application of constitutional rights so that anything you say is amis, becomes unconstitutional behaviour, also boring. the point of rushing through this section of work and peeking at the domestic violence act which seemed to be the only practical part of the whole lesson, pointless.

what i gathered from my one and only exposure to gender law: women should be able to do everything that men can and more, men should be oppressed cos its their turn having done it for so long, domestic violence is not a defence if you kill the son of a bitch that has been body slamming you for the last 15 years and believing that this lecture will in anyway supplement the mammoth amount of notes that now definitely need to be read - futile!

to draft or not to draft

i have taken it upon myself to alleviate the deathly tone of one of my principles and draft an affidavit opposing an application for summary judgment myself... this is no mean feat what with the whole '0' days experience i have at doing this, but he seems reluctant to answer a single query i have so, if it sucks we know where the blame lies - my head obviously...

i have read, read and read very many cases - the art of lawyering is knowing more than the other side, not necessarily uber important what you know but you must know more, so onward with the reading. i have found very many a case which question the skill level of my opposition and his ability to responsibly discharge his duty to his client and at the risk of sounding conceited led me to wonder what he was so pucker about on the telephone - obviously dealing with a clerk has led him to believe he can rest on his laurels... au contraire monsieur! never underestimate your opponent, or a blood thirsty little clerk who has nothing else to do with the day than read and research while you lunch...

Graduation

i started out the road of academia wondering what the hell i was thinking? through the first year my confidence grew, which was natural as i received at least 6 first class passes that year. i thought a better move would be to another university and although i spent most of my time there cursing myself it was the right move...
by the end of the second year i was in tears wanting to drop out. the finish line nowhere in sight, i had taken way more subjects than i knew what to do with against the senates better judgment but had miraculously passed everything.
half way through the third year a certain someone had to beat me with a stick saying 'it is only 1 and a half years to go, hang on, don't throw in the towel, get a fucking grip!' this saw me sail on into the final year.
this year came with its own set of challenges, almost losing my dignity in front of a lecturer as i almost bursting into tears when given my exam timetable, running a remarkable social development project (if i don't say so myself), seeing most of the credit going to someone else, and again did i mention the insane final year timetable?

on the 13th december our class of 2006 met at our faculty for tea, mingling with those who had helped get us through their exams and to congratulate those who were top in certain subjects, all before ascending onto the ceremony to be capped. a wonderful advocate gave a very warm speech of the four capacities in which he has appeared before our courts: as accused, as advocate, as appellant and as an acting judge. this place really has come along way and it gave us inspiration for our futures as members of a profession that holds such esteemed members.

the ceremony was breathtaking. aside from the fact that the seating was sardine-like and in black robes, sandwiched between your peers a tad hot, it was incredible. our university conferred 4 honorary degrees onto 4 amazing men, all of whom had actively participated in the struggle towards democracy in one way or another and who continue to uphold and challenge the principles which govern our everyday lives. it was particularly meaningful for me to eventually meet one of my heroes, a man who i have admired for as long as i have been made to read constitutional court judgments and honestly the only author that i am happy to read a judgment by. he has a knack for incorporating beautiful prose into his interpretation of law. ok enough he is old enough to be my grandad and has just helped in popping out a baby (round of applause to justice sachs on this achievement).


the choir of the school which i have helped tutor helped to sing in the precession of academics with the timeless and fitting gardiamus and helped out all of those who couldn't remember all the words to our national anthem.

finally it was time to walk up and get capped. the dean gave a little smile as he read my name which brought a tear, then i walked up to give my hood to a man in tudor dress, knelt before the vice chancellor making sure i looked him in the eye so my hair didn't fall in my face for the photographer, got slapped on the head with the cap, up turn around so tudor man can choke me with the hood remembering to look up so photo man can get his shot, turn to the audience and catch a certain someone trying to snap everything, mom almost in tears, dad very proud, other members not looking to board, down the stairs and pick up my degree, results and blue baton, happy department secretaries giving hugs and more snaps....

fantastic! getting up with the class of 2006 to walk out of the hall to applause from those who had helped and made sure we stood before them today was awesome. walking out onto the steps overlooking our city, priceless! this is it, i am officially now a lawyer!