in my world

today - aside from sleeping in a li'l i woke up to an alarming amount of bad news...

in my little neck of the woods kids have truly gone mad. two boys were owed money by another boy, a total that could buy you no more than a can of coke and as he failed, neglected or refused to pay them back they axed him in the head, tied a dog chain round his legs and tossed him in a bin.... silly little tike's got nicked as their footprints led police to their whereabouts....
another boy had enough of the bullying that is going to school - kids are truly the meanest bunches of gits at the best of times - and as he couldn't control the fact that he had epilepsy the next kid that past judgment got it in the neck with a pair of scissors and his mom buried him this morning...
then some other peeps who's ages are as yet unknown decided to rid the world of one less gangsta and took to the streets in the wee hours of last night, shot the man more than 20 times, put a bullet in his kids head and sent his wife packing off to intensive care to fight for her life...

great - how'd u wake up?

job satisfaction

is there such a thing or is it a euphemism that the corporate capitalist nazi has made us believe exists in the bid to have us strive onwards?

why work? well, there is the obvious, u gotta have a dolla in your pocket; u need, crave and desire all those shiny objects that the other magpies have and since you were a fledgling the world has told you that this is what you will spend the rest of your life doing.

those lucky enough to be of the platinum spoon and black amex variety will even attempt to persuade others and themselves that their avant garde ventures are work attempt to fit into the 'must work' mantra that we have been spoon fed.

today i got to thinking and thinking till there was nothing that i hadn't thunk - being that i was waisting another 8 hours of my existence to the enslavement of another - wondering what the fuck for? how is this modernism or futurist free crap getting me any closer toward a happier or more fulfilled life? the voyage onwards and upwards towards the lining of mine and others pockets is seeming more and more frivolous as the year progresses...

the boredom that is bullog

i have an incurable need to annoy myself. i find myself doing exactly what i swore i wouldn't and buying in to the whole rubbish that really is hard sell. when the controversy first started i knew it for what it was and that the lil man should get his own blog and take the hype there and that is what ensued...

the writing wasn't that bad at first, which got me to wonder why the hell i thought he was old drivel to start off with? then it became this tripe about how brilliant he was and blah blah boring blah and then the penny dropped on the latest twaddle and i realised where the disdain had stemmed from in the first place...

he just isn't jeremy and the mundane ridiculous pretension in an attempt to review automobiles tends to feel a little like sucking cock with car manufacturers. i dont mean to be crude but that is what is boils down to. rather than a review it turns into an ad report for some luxury car that lacks any attention to detail. telling me over an over that it has style, a great gear box or clean lines doesn't mean it does. where's the bullish antagonism at the pretension of a manufacturer to command such price tags, wheres the justification in parting with your cash when there are so many other models to chose from that have higher rpms, out puts and gear ratios, where is the penchant for appreciation of the finer things that go into the make up of the piece of metal you inevitably choose to climb into on any given sunday?

there it is, the pearl of realisation and onwards to continue to thrive on every minute that is not taken up by another boring car show...

c'mon its good for you

what does that even mean? who's to know what is actually good for you. a couple of years ago, way before i was able to think about food, there was a violent pink coloured sausage which was later discovered to cause a type of cancer. that wasn't very good for you...

today we are constantly advertised from a 'its good for you perspective' cos the buzz phrases for 2000 are the health conscious individual, my body is my temple, atkins, microbiotic, good foods...

if you are to believe everything you are told then the kellogs breakfast followed by some yoghurt will ensure a 'healthier' aka skinner version of you, planning and colour co-ordinating your foods will ensure longivity and as long as what you ingest says that it is healthy the quantity is naturally not of significance.

obviously with modernity comes the loss of educated thought and we will continue to bumble around under the false impression that if it tells me its healthy then it is...
no people! without running off all the crap you ingest there is no hope of being a 'healthy' weight. no matter what you eat without exercise the exercise in eating is only going to lead to more and more fatties on the street... look around - would you say healthy eating is working?

oh shame

i don't really follow super 12, 14, whatever else unless it is a world cup of any game and then i find myself caught up in the betting on any country...

however, i did catch the last minute or so, of a first ever final: the team that was said to win it was foiled, out classed and out played. just when you think it is all in the bag and you can relax a little, what was surely yours is ripped from your little clutches... who could have written a better finish to that sort of hype?

hmmm...

there is a baked cheesecake cooling in the oven, now we wait...

bias anyone?

the independent media has struck again with its incredible ability to avoid attention to objective reporting or a balanced perspective.

it was very easy to learn that those damned israelis had gone and struck again with zealous fervour and attempted to wipe out those poor hamas headquarters once again for no apparent reason...

if you use sleuth like detective skills you may be able to scrummage in the back of some online news site, that for the past 3 days the skies have rained missiles into sderot, israel, schools have been closed and no one is walking the streets. this is apparently acceptable to the press, cos i cant see why these important facts were excluded in their reporting, and the unjustified attack was in response thereto...

its quite funny to watch the screams of shock horror as a country attempts to defend its citizens. on my last reading of the use of force defending your border by attacking the very same militants that have bombed you was called self defence - i still cant understand dugards problem with the building of a border...

its all over

the last 2 weeks have been a little fun - being out of the office was nice and back in a learning environment stimulating. i have come crashing back to the 'real world' and found a space invader inside my office...

dooshbag has decided that in my absence he will procure all space that is neatly and meticulously mine and cover it in his crap with not so much as a battered an eyelid. upon enquiry as to how where files that were not there when i left had come to rest on my desk i was told to go and play in the traffic - sure thing... be back on monday and your shit is going to hit the floor!

60 minutes

wow, the fastest 60 minutes ever has to go to the watching of 24 last night! i have never...
yes there was much protesting as i severed the remote from the usual suspects grip and then there was the moaning about how dumb to be watching a show that is in its 6th season, it must have lost its appeal by now - well no, uh ah, definitely not! if it hasn't already it will grip you the next time you tune in and leave you cursing the blaring add breaks as the 15 minutes of jacks life fly by...

i would give an update but i fear for those who may be in a dark hole not knowing that there is a 6th season, so at risk of spoiling it for anyone i would say that you should tune in or get the dvd but you should watch - there is something intensely amusing about bauers ability to tear out a jugular with his teeth...

jacks back

last seen kidnapped, on a freighter ship to what we suspect is a mob of angry 'you killed one of our statesman' chinese, bauer will return along with my obsession with 24, tonight.

if the teaser was anything to go by he's in pain, up shit creek with no bamboo in sight and the good ol' u.s of a is at the mercy of terrorists with only one immoral crusader for the job...

cut in or die sitting

a while back a debate spun on the arrogance of those who deem themselves 'cutters'. it was accepted that these sorts were the spawn of satan and would hopefully meet their demise in some untimely road death, for no reason other than the sheer frustration of 'sitters' who get shoveled further and further down the queue as 'cutters' move into their more favoured position...

i have become an 'on one particular road only cutter', rather i am choosing to step out of the closet and admit that there isn't a damn fig of hope that i am going to be a sitter on the r24 or whatever the road be called.

the traffic department seem oblivious to the plight of the road user who struggles against all odds between the hours of 7 and 9am to make it from this road onto the n1; the town planning department was clearly inebriated when decision time loomed in their deadline schedule as they merged a minimum of 17 suburbs traffic into one lane over a bridge onto the only highway into the city and no amount of trying to coax yourself as far as possible to the car in front of you is going to stop me edging ahead of the insane queue...

i have tried to be a sitter - it made me a half hour later for work than is acceptable. to avoid such continuous displays of disregard for the authority of my boss' working hours and remain a sitter i would need to get up an hour earlier. easy, we all should make sacrifices for the greater good of common man, how selfish of me, silly, theres nothing wrong waking up 2 hours after you get to sleep, doing the necessary to equip you for the day ahead and arriving at work a full 3 hours before anyone else... however unlike some hierarchies this would be seen as dedication to the profession that wouldn't be rewarded with a reciprocal allowance of 3 hours early finishing - dedication is expected, not rewarded.

so i cut in, blissfully waving a courtesy hand, smiling to the clearly seething driver who cant believe the arrogance in my ability to squeeze into the smallest gap he has left between his car and the one in front of him. i always indicate, move into the flow of traffic rather than wait to be let in like a cockaroach (sic) on the side and never jump over a solid lane - so technically no laws are broken...

good ideas....

another brilliant idea in the structure that is the un - make one of the most impoverished, economically unsuccessful countries with an inflation rate currently at 2 200%, the head of the commission on sustainable economic development (csd)...

once again i am dumb founded as to the incentives or rational behind this bodies decision making process. were the respective anonymous ballot voters trying to say - ha ha if anyone could stuff it up it'll be these guys? or were they aiming to piss off the developed world who had been so obviously against zimbabwe's nomination and let their arrogance get in the way of rational thought?

the cds is supposed to be an authoritative source on sustainable development and provide insight through policy making on how to push forward all those who are falling behind. in addition they are to offer expert advice, facilitate governmental negotiations and amongst others monitor the efforts of various groups efforts at implementation of sustainable development projects...

there is now a person in charge who is not able to travel to meet with the european leaders because as part of mugabe's government he is the subject of a host of travel bans, a man who supports government policies that have birthed the fact that wiping your arse with hard currency is cheaper than actually buying toilet paper and who supports a regime that has enabled the demise of any agricultural enterprise that once thrived in those there parts...

it remains to be seen how this project can move forward with the already many hurdles which face it and how the body is to learn from the mistakes of its leaders nation... this should go down as another feather in the un's cap of f*** ups...

another 5 min break

today started what looks to be a mammoth exploration of the magistrates court procedures... it is going to be mammoth because the lecturer has chosen to move at the pace of a snail. we are only to do a teeny bit of work at a time before moving on to a 5 minute break just in case we thought things were too hectic.

this is dramatically different to the pace of our mva guy who whizzed through it all at the speed of the latest ducati compared to our now 1959 ford. first it was great, a little teaser of information and then a 5min break, hmm this is good. then another snippet of info and poof another 5 min break. then another little tit bit and what do you know a 5 minute break and wow now it is tea time. this continued all the way to lunch.

students are not impartial to the odd break, in fact most would prefer to be on a break rather than at school but even we have our limits. if students start looking restless cos a break has been mentioned then you know there must be something up.

the lecturer quelled our scepticism by letting us go home almost a full hour and a half early, which had us applauding and forgetting that he had just given us a 5 min break before tiny little task followed by the 5 min break. now i am wondering how much are we getting out of the classes cos the file for this section is mammoth and we aren't even hitting the iceberg - clearly another self study - crap!

up up up

i am not getting much exercise but this will be remedied soon when i convince my other self to get back into the yoga studio so for now i am walking to class and taking the stairs rather than the elevator to the 7th floor.

it seems little, only 7 floors, but by the end i am panting and trying to look calm as the o2 refuses to enter the blood stream fast enough to go to the brain so that i dont faint, yeah i am cool thanks not going to fall over, no problems here, ignore the heaving rib cage...

so up and down the flights i go at least 3 times a day which i think is pretty good and makes for the walk home a little tough as the calves seethe in pain but i push them on with the power of my feeble mind that could end all this futile behaviour if it got its body back into the studio dammit!

out of the mouths of babes

memri is a media watch that monitors the media in the middle east. they appear to be an american based non proft org so i can already hear the screams of bias from all those that will be opposed to the contents of this post but read on...

i have chosen not to post the actual broadcast because it is offensive and much like bullard i dont want to give them what they crave which is more exposure so click here or here (alternatively youtube and search mickey mouse hamas) and you can view the clip for yourself and form an opinion....

these clips put into perspective how someone could convince another to strap themselves up only to splatter themselves in a public place taking as many innocents as possible with them. it sits uncomfortably with me that this is the subject of children's television or that 10 year olds are phoning in declaring that this is 'the time of death'.

are there not un conventions against the use of children as soldiers of war or prohibiting recruitment of child soldiers because it is against the child's fundamental rights to be just that - a child. is this perhaps part of the recruitment strategy in that we brainwash and coerce while infantile youths absorb the every convincing word of a mickey mouse look a like and then we only recruit once the age of 18 has been reached, thereby circumventing any questioning of the strategy of the general in charge of the suicide surge?

i admit i watched in disbelief and with much skepticism but still it remains whether from another perspective this type of broadcasting would be tolerated? would it be ok to propagate the annihilation of the mormons, would it be fine if an underground station in mid-70's sa run by umkhonto we sizwe transmitted the end of the white man, would the un tolerate an israeli children's tv show calling for the expulsion and end of the palestinians? i know the answer to the above is a definite no and if you feel otherwise there should be a good long look in the mirror that succeeds reading this and then you should have your head checked!

how can there be a negotiation for peace when you grow up believing that there is an oppression that you need to overcome with war. why is the message that only one religion can survive to the exclusion of all others? why is mickey mouse not preaching or calling for peace? why is the mouse asking for war and for little tiny tots to take up arms? why hasn't disney sued for intellectual property infringements?

if some feathers can be taken out of the sa cap, the lesson should be equality for all, not equality for us to the exclusion of anyone different from us; a peaceful solution can be found without taking up arms and the only road to peace is through a dialogue between sides that believe in a peace where both can still exist rather than one where only the other can survive.

where have all the toilets gone?

there is a problem plaguing the city that demands urgent attention. on my way to class i walked past what could only be human defecation and on my way back from class i passed two different men at different times who had just relieved themselves against different walls.

i understand that there are times when one has to go and that men are equipped with the blessing of ease of bladder release, but this is not the countryside this is the city. your bodily excretion has no where to go in a city except clutter up the pavements and various other concrete varieties that have replaced lawns, fields and dust that would absorb such crap in the country.

the city needs to do something. i am thinking the supply of the public ablution facilities is now at an all time high and of the utmost necessity. we have clearly breached the crisis wall in order for me to have encountered three cases of human waste in one day...

the parks will have to have loos for both sexes that are serviced and monitored and cant be without paper and proper hygine. i have run around hopping like a bunny on a stick wondering where all the loos have gone and exercised award winning restraint until home but others may not have the home to run too!

the public loo seems to have disappeared, become a thing of the past, much like the public bench come to think of it, but it needs to be put back. the excess of tax dollars would have to fund this human right as there cant be a surcharge for the use of the facility. a surcharge defeats the purpose of whom the toilet would aim to service. i propose lobbying local government or removing their loos to see how they would hold it.

bullard bashing

its not often that i bother to read this old mans tripe but i was persuaded by the interest of others and now i am confused as too what all the fuss is about.

the man is sad that he isn't getting enough attention so applause please cos now he has it - well done! sunday times readership is down, they get gagged every now and then and are subjected to watching their editors come and go. the life of the columnist is hard. that is all they get to do. unlike bloggers who use this forum for means other than a meager income, a 2 x 4 column in a sunday paper is all that some have to look forward too. we shouldn't be mocking him but rather encouraging him to get out there and start up his own blog and if he really is a good journalist he should have a stat counter that shoots through the roof and book deals turning into movie scripts faster that they can put his 500 words every sunday into print.

theoretically practical

today begins a new step in the life of the clerk - practical legal training courses.

as opposed to their title these are lectures about the theory of practice rather than actually practicing so the name is deceptive. i endured a bout with a feminist who is not down with the species of the opposite sex - this is counterproductive no?

she propounds ideas of equality and then follows it with a little men bashing - apparently acceptable to be sexist from a female to male perspective but objectify woman and she'll varnish her kitchen floor with your balls...

i read a sweet little article, well more of a how to be the perfect 1955 wife, step by step guide in housewives weekly, and thought, hell that aint half bad... if i worked all day, damn right i expect my dinner lovingly prepared by the home sitter to be warm and on the table as i would be famished on my return from the making of our livelihood. the home maker better not trouble me with the frivolities of the broken washer dryer when i enter and should rather usher me with kind words and warm or cold drinks. the children (not gonna happen they are too bugging) would be playing out of earshot and if within my ears range, quietly.... and if it was cold there should be a roasty fire warming my toes - splendid where'd i sign up this sounds great - ooops sorry was i missing the point? this is somehow bad and the poor woman. what else should she be doing with her day if she isn't out working?

hard core feminism bores me. the willy nilly application of constitutional rights so that anything you say is amis, becomes unconstitutional behaviour, also boring. the point of rushing through this section of work and peeking at the domestic violence act which seemed to be the only practical part of the whole lesson, pointless.

what i gathered from my one and only exposure to gender law: women should be able to do everything that men can and more, men should be oppressed cos its their turn having done it for so long, domestic violence is not a defence if you kill the son of a bitch that has been body slamming you for the last 15 years and believing that this lecture will in anyway supplement the mammoth amount of notes that now definitely need to be read - futile!

bliss

whilst reading the weekend paper i have stumbled across some interesting finds, some of which i'll vent about much later as i digest the arrogance so later about the cigar smoker...

a quaint little inhabitant of my town has been interviewed and upon attempting a sincere answer to what would you do with a million bucks? her reply was 'invest wisely, contribute to a good cause, and finally travel and shop on the interest...

excellent, cos i need the name of the broker and investment house who are clearly genius to be able to make my wonderful currency really go the distance. i did a few sums and figured that unless 'the cause' is getting a free lunch for the volunteer staff, the travel is to a weekend resort and the shopping at a second hand store, someone is being short changed or perhaps i am too extravagant?

upon reflection i did a few more sums and concluded that i am a bit of a miser. i might: run in terror at the possibility of having to make the mil, 2 and what to do in the crises that the balance slipped below the mere 6 zero's, how the hell can i spend 1 mil, that gets you nowhere - a bucket of fries and some chicken? my head has rushed into zero overload and for some reason i couldn't figure out how i would give the charity anything less that the 6 noughts and then what the hell am i going to buy and how the hell will i invest?

this is the car guard dilemma - one is unacceptable, two is insulting, five is ok but 10 is too much! how do you give the charity 500 000 and then keep 500 000 for yourself? do you then do a 60/40 split and is that not just rude, so compromise with a 70/30 or an 80/20 which seems to do you in some how, or can you go the whole have it all or keep it all and try do something with any leftovers?

some happy days

today is lag b'omer, a happy day, one that now is celebrated by picnics in parks, dancing around a bon fire, singing, the snip snap of a 3 yr olds hair, even a wedding is allowed, so get out your bow and arrow and make merry...

a special remembrance is noted for all those pupils of rabbi akiva, (because this is the only day between pesach and shavuot that no pupil died) allowing for a day of happiness amongst days of mourning and counting. we should strive to be nicer to each other and show our respect otherwise we might have a similar mystical smiting...

social commentary

with the growing abundance of social networks on the internet is it not all becoming a little bit too much?

blogging started blogger competing with wordpress or vice versa, then came the choice to upload photos followed by the decision to profess loyalty with either flickr, picasa, kodac photo or the list goes on. thus began the daily document on stories that are your's or someone else's life...

along comes facebook, myspace, twitter and they keep on coming... some taking it really seriously - i have a friend who we shall call the facebook slut, what with 354 friends - others using it as a means to escape their boredom or just pass time using it as a means to network.

there's a problem as the inevitable looms and your life gets interrupted by the constant need to update and check and correct and make tiny little profile amendments and then click click, presto you are actually literally a walking talking horror movie plugged in...

busy busy splat

often i ramble around shouting about life not being fast paced enough, rather dull, a lil on the slow side... wishing as i might that things would spin along at a lil more of an exponential pace and then they do. now i find myself slamming my fingers against the dash asking why me what did i do to deserve this... oh the pain, the pain - honestly get a grip!

it is now sunday, the blur that has been the weekend has come back to a lil meander and things are plodding along more swimmingly than the last two days.

friday was the last of my days in court (more on this later) and it was also the opening of SP's new and improved look at the other species that is Woman..... man. he has sold out and gone totally commercial but, i fear as most do when a friend sells out that, this is truly what people will want to see. the fear comes not from the fact that everyone will want to see it, but that people are really that simple... oh well a fact we must accept. he is on to a really good thing and if his cast manage without him and take his notes to hart they should be playing to packed houses for the next three weeks down at the obs cafe. personally i would make this into a movie, go for a world wide release and fuck touring the country in little theaters but thats the capitalist throwing the thespian against the wall and stealing his beer...

there were celebrations after and almost a tear as the cast thanked SP for his time before he exits the town in which we live with a bottle of veuve.... many spent the night huddled discussing the brilliance and admiring themselves more as the bar was more flooded. SP spent most of the night invincibly drowning one substance after another whilst crooning young blonde's until we hit the last spot on our port of call.... it seems that kissing has an adverse effect on our hero and that was the last he was seen with much dignity. a certain someone and co spent the rest of the night capturing on film the dramatic exploits of the toilet bowl and then it was all over. we stumbled in around the time that sparrows were merrily farting and proceeded to hear SP's operatic displays of bog hugging. this has left him with a much longer than usual uvula which is touching his tongue - eeew, to the doc me thinks!

4 hours later i restrained the need to bucket my eyes with water as we said our goodbyes to eeyore and hope that his travels bring exciting stories that will develop into more beautiful plays and perhaps a wonderful nouveau film that wins an accalaide or four... simply like that the little mess is gone for hmmmm 2 years....

the market followed to meet others, with camps bay after that, consumptions of rubbish with dvd's and then i crashed, the freight train hit the wall without notice at 8pm, what the fuck am i a granny or what? 8pm, asleep is not acceptable...

where's the cat

there are times when someone pops up from the unknown to me world of cyber space and says 'ha ha, u weren't that hard to find...'

crap, waht, sorrrry, the world has stopped spinning its usual pace on its axis, speeding up rapidly then slowing down, shunting me up and down through stratoshpheres.... find me? this was covered, no? i posted skittly ages ago when i accidentally commented on a certain someones blog and realising that any clueso could link back here without much thought and add one apple to another realising he was close to a pie, that this should and could not happen and the hows and whys of retaining anonymity that would slowly develope into an acclaimed anonymous fame...

as the design would have it, linking to others allows them to view you, dah, not that genius to figure out i now hear myself screaming from the padded cell as the walls start closing in. the panic of what is to come if the lil' secret sniper becomes to impressed with his sleuth like ability has myself in a jibber and i am ranting like a loon with eyes flaring like a banchee...

crap!